Finding my Focus

“Focus on the positive and take time to enjoy the season of Spring. The beauty the Spring season brings, new growth on trees and shrubs, perennials popping up, bulbs emerging from their slumber, the sweet scent of Wisteria wafting through the open windows.”

Focusing on anything seems to be harder than it used to be, especially in this time of uncertainty during our quarantine. Who would have ever thought the word “quarantine” would be such a big part of our vocabulary in the year 2020?

Any who…with all this extra time on my hands you would think finding something to do would be pretty easy. I mean before the COVID-19 drama began to unfold we all secretly yearned for more time to do things we enjoyed doing. Now we have time but it’s really hard to focus.

It wasn’t that long ago that finding time to sit at my workbench was what pushed me to get my work, errands and cleaning done. I eagerly anticipated time to sit and play with all of the weird things I’d collected. Pulling odds and ends together to make a cross, then take photos, then list on Etsy and promote, promote, promote until the magical email alert of a sale appeared in my inbox.

Now there is time, but my focus is a little cloudy these days…I don’t know if it has to do with more things on my mind or maybe it’s just a season and like most seasons, it will pass.

Or maybe it’s a door closing ever so slowly, signalling time is up on what I used to wrap my days around.

My activity has waned and my days are no longer consumed with thoughts of decorating, creating, fixing or fluffing. I still think about it and look at inspiration pics on Pinterest. But it doesn’t consume me like it used to do.  In fact I briefly flirted with the idea of not decorating for Christmas last year.  But we did.  I say we because it was a team effort.  Hubby pulled down tubs from the attic and the tree went up and was decorated. In hindsight though, the decorating got done because we were hosting a birthday party for one of our grandsons.

I really think that it wasn’t so much the idea of decorating the had me in a funk, but more the thought of pulling it all down and in a matter of weeks boxing it all up again for another year.

Taking trips down memory lane take up a lot of my time these days and that is usually a great way to get creative juices flowing. Perusing and cleaning out my Flickr albums has spurred some great memories and at times I feel a teeny tiny desire to sit at my workbench and make a cross or at least finish some of the crosses that were started before the big move.

Creativity grows and blooms differently in every person.  For me it begins with an idea I get from looking at a color or group of colors. I love color and pairing colors together. My inspiration comes from several sources, looking thru a magazines or pretty landscapes on our daily walks or even a remnant of jewelry. I will deconstruct anything and use parts for a centerpiece on a cross. Many of my cross designs began with a recycled component, a textured or colorful bead. Others have been based on a theme or grouping seen in a magazine.

These crosses were made back in the early days of my business.

My friend owned a women’s clothing and accessory shop.  When her clients returned accessories that were damaged she would toss the returned items in a box and gift it to me when it filled up. This was like heaven for me.  I would spend hours dismantling the items, then sort them out and use for crosses. It was wonderful knowing that something that could have been discarded was useful again. In that moment I had focus, determination and passion.

I miss that and want it back!

Maybe it’s lack of structure. My kids grown and raising their own families and we moved hours away. So no more surprise visits from kiddos or grand kids spending weekends with us. They do visit and we go see them, but this too has been curtailed by a ridiculous virus!!!

But also, I no longer have that daily structure maintained during their childhood. Sometimes that free feeling of having no schedule can be the death of productivity.  Then again, maybe it’s just the way I’m wired. My productivity was at it’s peak when I had less time to create. That doesn’t seem very fair does it? I now have the time but I don’t quite know how to funnel that into a creative groove.

I’m beginning to realize that setting a schedule and finding a focal point in my day is crucial for getting anything done.

peace.love.rust